Avocados from Chile suck the big one.

That didn't take long, I think I'll go off on a rant now.

So the other day we buy some avocados from Superstore and it turns out they suck.  This is annoying to me because I love avocados and a bad avocado is practically inedible.  They sit there to ripen and never really do, finally you say shag it and cut into one of them and it's hard, it's almost impossible to twist open and then it doesn't even taste good after all that effort.  What a pisser.  The kicker is, they are from Chile, proving to me that the only good avocados on earth are from Mexico.  If I was independently wealthy and completely bored and somewhat irresponsible I'd fly to Chile, find the people in charge of these sad and pathetic excuses for avocados and berate them for so long they'd probably rethink their decision to become avocado farmers.  They'd probably think back to the time they had the choices of avocado farmer or 'other' and wish they went with 'other'.  Maybe 'other' was fisherman, or wine-maker, or priest, but I'm pretty sure they'd wish they'd went with other after I got through with them.  Would they have completely sucked at 'other' remains to be seen, but shit, if you're gonna go all in with avocados at least make a good product, not some poorly-drawn facsimile that bears only a visual resemblance to a tasty avocado and actually tastes nothing like the real deal.  Nasty-ass, pale green, hard, tasteless, watery, sad-lookin' excuses for something I love.  Again, what a pisser.

I don't know much about Mexico other than a whole ton of people go there to vacation every year and a whole ton of people get murdered there as a result of the drug trade.  How can something so good and something so completely evil exist like that in one place?  Talk about both your yin and yang.  Regardless, they can grow some crazy good avocados there and I really hope I'm supporting something good by buying Mexican avocados.

Things I should probably talk about in the future: 'irregardless', cashews, Starbucks, yin, music, food, my kids the economy, spelling, yang, the price of tea in China. 

Nuff said, wha?

Peace,

G

Exhibit A: Which one is from Mexico?

Exhibit B: Faker!!  Shame!!