Wine Gums?

So today for no good reason I was reminded of wine gums and other horrible candy that was around when I was a kid (and may still be around now, somehow) and all I could think was, 'How did someone think this was a good idea?'  Candy was candy back in the day, I didn't eat it frequently but when I did I'd go overboard.  Bottle caps, jelly beans, and other junk all went down the hatch but there were a few dreaded treats I avoided at all costs, and here are a few:

Wine gums: These were pure poison to me.  The taste was weird, they were small and angry looking, and chewing them was a miserable experience.  I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy gnawing on a thick piece of animal cartilage more than one of those nasty little buggers.  It was like a jaw workout on steroids with no payoff.  Maybe they've improved, but I'm never going to find out if Maynard has fixed the recipe.

Black Bart Gum:  Wow.  Black licorice-flavoured gum, that is just a master stroke of genius there.  At least you can swallow black licorice when it's in candy form and end the experience, but with gum the misery goes on-and-on as you chew it indefinitely.  Wasn't licorice used as medieval medicine at one time, and then it became gum?  And your teeth when you chewed it?  If I wanted to look like I just Frenched a sea-dwelling creature pulled from a recent oil spill then I'd prefer to do just that...

Thrills Gum:  What.  The.  Eff?  Purple gum that tastes EXACTLY like soap, who was the marketing maven behind this brilliant marriage of poor colour choices and revolting flavour?  Soap gum?  What else can a guy say about that.  Gum, that tastes like soap.  This has got to be at the apex of all horrible candy.  I'm sure I could think of more, like the weird pseudo-caramels I used to get at Halloween that tasted like burnt dirt at best.

The very thought of eating any candy these days sends chills down my spine, I often marvel at adults that can sit there mindlessly and eat candy without a second thought.  Chocolate bars I can see, even cans of pop and the like but candy?  What are ya, twelve?